stones for grief support

I have written about grief quite a bit. For year, actually, I had a blog devoted to discussing grief and parenting. It surprises me that I haven't written about stones for grief support. Why crystals for grief? We often feel helpless when others are walking through the Dark Valley of grief and loss. We ourselves feel lost and in a dark wood when we have lost someone close to us. I certainly walk through cycles of grief in my life. My daughter died on Winter Solstice, and the time when the day is shortest, I begin my descent into the cold world of grief. And yet, it isn't as desolate and cold as I imagine. Grief is the deepest expression of love and longing. We do not grieve that which is unimportant to us. Each year as it approaches my daughter's death day and birthday, I find myself remembering those dark days of comprehending the impermanence of the human condition, and the reality that we will live without her bright soul. I welcome that time. For most of the year, I live this life without her. It is an ache I have grown accustomed to. Yet there is something comforting and necessary about my season of grief. Rather than a sad time, it is a time for my family to come together and love her, honor her, parent her. We hold her together, our collective memory, our survival of this horrible situation.

This grief grid was created for grieving parents on Kindness Day in 2013. It contains Rose Quartz, Green Aventurine, Dravite, and Apache Tears. Under the center stone contains the names of the parents and the child they lost. 

This grief grid was created for grieving parents on Kindness Day in 2013. It contains Rose Quartz, Green Aventurine, Dravite, and Apache Tears. Under the center stone contains the names of the parents and the child they lost. 

We tend to label grief as BAD. But in my experience, grief opens a door to love. It is a heart-centered experience. And grief is not just one emotion. It is an experience of many emotions and thoughts--joy, gratitude, anger, sadness, longing, loneliness, guilt, pride, compassion, empathy, selfishness...I could go on all day. Remember it is when we suppress emotions, feelings, instincts, that our body begins to manifest dis-ease. But when we honor the emotion--good, bad, ugly--we honor all of our human-ness. That is why we are here, after all. A spiritual being having a human experience.

Crystal support during these times of grief is incredible helpful. Most crystals recommended for grief support help us remain heart-centered. The first stone mentioned with grief support usually is Apache Tear. Apache Tear is a form of Black Obsidian. The lore around Apache Tear dates back to the late 1800s. A group of Apache warrior in battle against US Calvary were outnumbered and facing defeat. They chose to ride off a cliff than be killed by the American soldiers. It is said that the women of the tribe cried tears on the mountain over their fallen men, and their tears turned to stone as they hit the ground. Apache Leap Mountain is where this took place, it located in Southeastern Arizona. It is quite beautiful there. You can read more about the legend here. Because of this lore, it is said to assist with grief and loss. 

Another beautiful stone for grief support is Dravite, or Champagne Tourmaline. It is a dark brown Tourmaline, and it is wonderful to help ground and emote. And also it is wonderful for self-care and self-love, which are two things most of find difficult in times of emotional struggle.

I am also fond of Smoky Quartz for grief support as it is a strong protector and grounder. Remember that most of our fears of emoting and feeling grief is feeling out of control, or that once we start crying we will not stop. These black stones actually help you feel safe, secure and allow you to emote. It also protects your feelings from others. Think of how vulnerable we feel when we are emotional or grieving. If we see a Hallmark commercial, we burst into tears. Well, these dark stones--Dravite, Smoky Quartz and Apache Tear--help protect your EMF and keep your feelings to yourself.

I also include heart stones in grief mojo bags or grids. Some great stones to includes are Rhodochrosite, Rose Quartz, Green Aventurine, and Garnet, which is not usually put into the mix here with grief, but I think it is a wonderful ally.

So, you have these stones, now what? I love to gift a mojo bag of stones to a friend who has just lost a relative, friend or pet. But grief is not limited to the death of someone. We experience grief when our marriage falls apart, or we lose a job, or get sick and face a new way of living. Grief experience should not be limited to one experience of grief--death. So, yes, MOJO BAGS! It is a great support. I also love to create grids for my friends who are experiencing grief or death anniversaries. And send them distance Reiki. I always ask permission (Number one rule of energy work!).

rose quartz

For creatures such as we, the vastness is  bearable only through love. -Carl Sagan

Self-love, divine love, romantic love, parental love, forgiveness, friendship, compassion, familial love...love love love. It is the seed to spirituality. The Heart Chakra sits at the center of you, not by accident, but because love is the center. It is the bridge from the lower to higher chakras, from existence to ascension, so to speak. And through which I believe, we filter all our experiences. How we are loved of, how we love and how we accept and how we are accepted.

Rose quartz hearts are incredible popular for crystal healing work. The Rose Quartz tower is great for a center point for grids, and can be put directly on the Heart Chakra for blockage releases. Raw rose quartz, shown at the left, is as beautiful as tumbled stones. 

Rose quartz hearts are incredible popular for crystal healing work. The Rose Quartz tower is great for a center point for grids, and can be put directly on the Heart Chakra for blockage releases. Raw rose quartz, shown at the left, is as beautiful as tumbled stones. 

Rose Quartz is THE stone of love, some would say. It is used in grids, jewelry, magic, dream work, love potions, meditations and crystal healing. It is a powerhouse of heart chakra energy, which is why it is so powerful and abundant. Healing the heart, heartbreak and all wounds dealing with trauma, loss and love, Rose Quartz helps to trust, to release boundaries, to open oneself. But its main role is one of compassion--self-compassion, compassion for others, compassion for the world. That is the essence of heart-centeredness. We are called to practice radical compassion and profound love. Rose Quartz resonates beautifully with global love, but also with romantic love, or relationship healing. Use it when you are healing from a break-up, or starting a new relationship. Actually both require great trust and an opening of the heart. 

While Rose Quartz's energy is gentle, it is by no means a pansy. It is a powerful activator of the heart chakra connecting one with Mother Earth. It is great as a connector of people. Place it in a room and feel a lightness of being, an ease. Or if it is a tough room, just an ease.

Naisha Ahsian talks about the heart center as the "strongest generator of Light energy in the body--even stronger than the brain. The energy of Rose Quartz," she goes on to say, "helps the bud of the heart unfold into a thousand-petaled lotus of Light."

Part of what I imagined when I started this series of blog posts about crystals and tarot is to talk about crystals people already think they know as well as ones that my readers may have never heard of. I hemmed and hawed about Rose Quartz. What is there to say? It looks like it feels--gentle, beautiful, high vibrational. In our home, Rose Quartz is a perennial favorite. My six year old daughter Beatrice is perpetually asking me to buy her another Rose Quartz. She loves them, can't get enough of them. It is because children instinctually feel held, calmed, loved with rose quartz. Its beautiful resonance reminds them of that maternal love. Rose Quartz helps adults feel held and loved by the Divine.  

Rose Quartz is an essential crystal for your toolkit. A great affirmation for Rose Quartz from the Book of Stones: 

I open my heart  to receive and express the energy of love.